Before She Left Us
by MusicWIT27
Summary: A story about what life was like before Pamela Tanner passed away, and the emotions that came with it, mostly in D.J.'s point of view.
1. Labor

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything of Full House. I wish I did. I also don't own Disneyland (you'll see why I put this later). I _really_ wish I did.

**A/N:** This is my second fanfic. To warn you ahead of time, I did make up the whole story; I do not really know how or when or where Pamela Tanner died, just that she was hit by a car. I may change POVs throughout the story, but the story is in D.J.'s point of view until further notice. Please review! Thanks!

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_I have never been so tired._

_With Mom being pregnant and Stephanie annoying me day and night and Dad asking me to help him dust the nursery incessantly, I'm just about as exhausted as a girl can get._

_I really can't wait for a little sister. Mom says Stephanie and I are allowed to name her, but she's basically saying it's up to me, since Stephanie doesn't really know any good names besides her own. I like Jennifer and Michelle, but wouldn't Era or Jasmine sound so exotic? There's too many names! I can't just pick one!_

_Hm. Maybe I should write them up on slips of paper and tell Stephanie to draw one. She needs something to occupy her mind besides Disneyland. She's always running around, screaming, "Dizzyland! I wanna go to Dizzyland!"_

_And each time I tell her, "Stephanie, it's 'Disneyland,' not 'Dizzyland.' Besides, we'll go when you're older."_

_"Stephie goes to Dizzyland!" she insists. Four-year-olds._

I stopped writing when I heard Dad's voice ring out from downstairs. "D.J.! It's almost dinnertime!"

I groaned. "Okay, Dad," I called back. "I'll be right down." I quickly turned back to my diary.

_I have to go eat dinner. From what I saw earlier, Dad's cooking his "Something-in-a-boot." (I didn't catch the first word.)_

_Love,_

_D.J._

I rushed downstairs to see Dad take out this giant thing that was shaped like…

"A boot!" I yelled. "Whoa, _baby_!"

Dad frowned. "I thought I already told you we were having salmon-in-a-boot. Didn't I?"

I tried not to laugh. "You did, but I didn't know it was actually in a shape of a—" I stopped as I remembered what he just said. "_Salmon?_"

Dad nodded triumphantly. "It's my first experiment. You are my victims. Now, take a bite!"

I stared at the giant boot in front of me. "_How?_" I asked. Should I cut it up into little pieces? Or nibble at the toe? Maybe I should eat the heel off first. Dad doesn't like heels, apparently. He wouldn't let me buy a pair of high-heeled sandals last week, even when I promised to polish it every other week.

Dad showed me. He cut off the top and gave me a piece. I took a bite with my fork and forced myself to smile. "Yum!" I lied.

"I'm glad you like it," Dad said, smiling, "because there're lots more!"

_This is one of those times when I really wish I had a dog,_ I thought to myself. On second thought, a dog wouldn't eat this thing either. I just had to face the music and wolf down the piece myself. Dad kept watching me eat, grinning proudly (or was he just making sure I didn't throw it out?).

"I finally got Stephanie changed out of her pajamas," Mom said, coming downstairs with my little sister, who was dressed in overalls. I almost wanted to throw my arms around them in gratefulness for their interruption of the meal. Now I could dump all the salmon on Stephanie's plate and just eat the boot's outer coating, which was bread dough.

"Daddy, I'm hungry!" Stephanie complained. She turned towards the table, and then saw the boot. "A shoe!" she exclaimed. "That's ugly!" I saw mom give a snort as she tried to conceal her laughter.

Dad rushed to his defense. "It's not ugly," he said, obviously hurt. "It's dinner."

Stephanie pursed her lips. "Well, it's the ugliest dinner I ever saw."  
Mom couldn't hold back her giggles anymore. She burst out laughing, and soon, everyone was laughing with her. Mom has one of those laughs that are contagious; it makes things all the funnier.

"Um, Danny," Mom began. I could tell she was searching for an excuse not to eat the boot. "Danny, the boot's so beautiful, I just couldn't bear to eat it. Maybe you should have it all to yourself." She walked over to the refrigerator. "I'll make dinner for D.J., Stephanie, and me."

"Honey, I don't think you should be cooking when you're—"

"Nonsense!" Mom exclaimed, even though her stomach was so big she couldn't even reach the bottom drawer of our refrigerator. "Being pregnant doesn't make me handicapped. I can still cook a meal!"

In the end, we had a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs. Stephanie kept talking about how she loved "pasgehtti," and when I finally got annoyed enough, I tried to teacher her how to say "spaghetti." Now I'm going to be hearing the word "spaghetti" a _lot_.

I went to my room after dinner to write in my diary. After twenty minutes or so, I heard a shriek. I poked my head out the door just as Dad was coming out of the nursery with streak-free glass cleaner and some paper towels. "Is everything all right, Pam?" he asked worriedly, rushing down the hall to their bedroom.

"No!" Mom called back. I got scared. "I think—it's time!"

* * *

**A/N:** As I said before,this is all my educated guess of what D.J.'s life was like with her mother around. It might be totally different, I don't know.Hope you liked it!


	2. Homecoming

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own Full House, but I have my story!

**A/N:** I'm going to try to make this story as realistic as possible, but I'm not so great at doing the whole "giving birth" concept. Please review and give me some suggestions.

* * *

_**Previously in "Before She Left Us":**_

_I went to my room after dinner to write in my diary. After twenty minutes or so, I heard a shriek. I poked my head out the door just as Dad was coming out of the nursery with streak-free glass cleaner and some paper towels. "Is everything all right, Pam?" he asked worriedly, rushing down the hall to their bedroom._

"_No!" Mom called back. I got scared. "I think—it's time!"

* * *

_

_Dear Diary, _

_I'm really worried about Mom. I'm in the hospital right now, waiting for my parents to come out. She's screaming a lot. I hope she's okay._

_Dad called Uncle Jesse, and he's coming over soon. Uncle Jesse's nice, but he thinks he's Elvis, which is sort of strange.

* * *

_

Before I had time to write any more, Dad came bursting through the doors of Mom's room and motioned for us to come in. I left my journal on the bench, the entry unfinished.

"Mom!" I cried, rushing in. She had a big smile spread across her face, and hugged me, which was hard, since she had a small baby in her arms. "Oh, she's so cute!"

"She's so small!" Stephanie commented. "I finally have a baby sister!"

"Do we have a name?" a nurse asked, coming in with a hospital band and a pen.

Dad looked at me. "Do we?"

"Yes," I answered with a grin. Just looking at the baby helped me choose a name, and I knew it'd fit. "Michelle Tanner." Just then, I heard loud footsteps outside the room. I ran out side and saw--

"Hi, Uncle Jesse!" I cried when I saw him rushing down the hospital hallway. "Mom's doing fine. Say hi to Michelle!"

"Oh, good," Uncle Jesse said. He still had his motorcycle helmet on as he entered Mom's room. "Where's the munchkin?"

* * *

Dad was the first one to enter the house after Mom came back. He said, "Wait here," and we heard him rummaging through some things. Finally, he came back. "Come in!"

Dad had been getting the camcorder ready for when Mom came in. He wanted to keep Michelle's homecoming on video. Mom stepped in with Michelle in her arms, while Jesse stood in back of her. "Danny, get a close-up of this beautiful girl!" Mom said. Dad obediently zoomed in on Mom's face. She laughed. "Not me, the baby, huh?"

Mom reached over to take hold of two bulky bags. "And, to celebrate our new baby, presents for D.J. and Stephanie!" Her eyes were a little watery, making them sparkle when the light hit them just right. "Here you are!"

I was dying to see what Mom got me, so I quickly ran over to open the bag. Inside I found a box. A shoebox, to be exact. I grinned with anticipation and took of the top. "Whoa, baby!" I cried. It was a pair of high-heeled shoes! They were shiny, beautiful pink gladiator sandals—the ones with criss-crossed straps on the top. I loved them! I hurriedly ran back to Mom's bedside and hugged her tightly. "Oh, thank you, thank you, _thank_ you!" I exclaimed excitedly.

Mom could only laugh. "I bought them with Dad a few days ago. It took a long time before I could talk him into buying them."

"It sure did," Dad cut in. "And I'm still not too happy about the heels."

"Well, thanks so much, Mom!" I said again. Meanwhile, Stephanie was struggling to untie the knot Mom had made to keep the bag closed. Uncle Jesse bent down to help her. When the knot became undone, Stephanie pulled out a giant stuffed teddy bear. It wore a green-gray trench coat and a hat.

"Wow!" she exclaimed, squeezing it tightly. "Thanks, Mommy!" She scrunched up her face, as if thinking hard about something. "I think I'll name him…Mr. Bear."

* * *

Later that day, I curled up in bed with my journal. I had to complete the unfinished entry.

_We just got back from the hospital. Mom's really tired, but Dad says she'll be fine. Michelle (my new baby sister) cries a lot. She's crying this very second. _

_While Dad is taking care of the baby, Stephanie and I are trying to kill time. We're still waiting for Mom to wake up from her short nap, so she can hold the baby. I brought in a small chalkboard and its stand. I was determined to teach Stephanie the word "Disneyland."_

"_Stephanie," I said, "I'm going to teach you how to say 'Disneyland,' and tell you why you're pronouncing it wrong. Stephanie nodded like an obedient dog while I wrote out the word._

"_Now, take a look at this word. Pronounce it out slowly, and then say it normally."_

_In the end, Stephanie learned how to correctly pronounce "Disneyland." I'm feeling pretty satisfied now—I taught a four-year-old some words, I named a baby—what could go wrong?_

_When Mom came home, she gave us both presents. I got a rad pair of high-heeled shoes, and Stephanie got a teddy bear, who she named Mr. Bear. She won't let go of him._

_Well, I have to go. I think Mom's awake._

_Love,_

_D.J._


	3. Collision

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT, NOT, NOT own Full House, or its characters, or its settings, etc. I only have my story.

**A/N:** I'm not really sure about how old D.J. was, so I'm going to put the "tragedy" near her birthday, just to make it seem more dramatic, even though it most likely didn't happen then. Please review!

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_It's been practically six months since I've made an entry. I've just been really busy with Michelle and Mom, so I barely have time to brush my hair, much less write in my diary. Michelle's healthy, but she needs a lot of attention, and since Dad's on a cleaning frenzy, I've got to help do the dishes and laundry, and change Michelle's diapers. I wonder if my diapers ever smelled as disgusting as Michelle's. If they did, I've got to go apologize to Mom and Dad for having to change them._

_My birthday's coming up! I can't wait! Finally, the big "1 0". Dad's going to throw me a big party. First, I'll take a couple friends to the movies. Then we can come back home and watch movies all night long, and have pillow fights. _

_Which reminds me, I've got to get back to my invitations._

_Love, D.J._

Using my neatest hand writing, I wrote, "You are cordially"—Dad told me to use that word—"invited to Donna Joe Tanner's tenth birthday party!" I drew lots of balloons and cakes, with confetti and a big "**10**" sign on the inside. There I included the date and time, place, and what to bring.

It took me half an hour to finish one, but when I was done, I leaned back in my chair with satisfaction. It was beautiful! "D.J," I murmured to myself with a smug smile, "you've really outdone yourself this time." Then I realized that I'd have to make six more, and groaned. I grabbed my colored pencils and got back to work.

* * *

**_Danny's POV_**

I was waxing the kitchen floor when I heard Pam's voice ring out from the living room: "Danny? Can you come in here, please?"

"Sure," I called back, and dashed into the family room. Pam was perched peacefully on the arm of the sofa, studying a small box in her hand. She looked so beautiful, I just wanted to go over and hug her tightly. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

She grinned. "No, I just wanted to show you my birthday gift to D.J." She took of the lid of the box and held it out to me. In the cotton packaging was a beautiful silver bracelet, and when I studied it more closely, I noticed it had been engraved with "Happy Birthday, D.J.!" on the outside with "Love, Mom" on the inside of the bracelet.

"It's beautiful," I murmured. I looked down at her. "She'll love it."

Pam smiled with pride. "I hope so; I want this birthday to be really special."

* * *

**_D.J.'s POV_**

Today's the big day. I woke up early and let out a loud cheer. "Yes!"

When I walked downstairs dressed in a white flared skirt and a ruffled pink shirt, Dad had already me a birthday pancake. It was huge, indeed the size of a pan, with lit candles and white frosting.

"Thanks, Dad!" I gasped. "It's great!"

Dad laughed, but turned a bit pale when he noticed I was wearing the pink heels Mom gave me. "You look very grown up," he remarked, and kissed me on the forehead. "Happy birthday, honey."

"Thanks," I said again, smiling. Just then, Mom entered and immediately rushed to hug me. "Happy birthday, D.J.!"

"Thanks," I said, for the third time that morning. It was starting to get a little old.

"Happy birthday, Deej!" Stephanie cried, coming downstairs with Mr. Bear in her arms.

"Thanks," I muttered. From now on, I've got to alternate between "thanks" and "thank you".

"So, dig in!" Dad said suddenly. "I call it '_Pancake a la Birthday. _It's got three pancakes stacked on top of each other, see, each smaller than the one beneath it. And I decorated the top by squeezing icing to make it look like D.J.'s face."

"Uh, okay," I said with a moment's hesitation. I looked down at the pancake, and its face looked back up at me. I made a quick wish—can't tell what it is!—and blew out the candles while everyone else clapped, then cut my first piece.

"Mmm!" I said, chewing my first bite. I took a gulp of milk. "Delicious!"

Just then, Michelle voice came from the baby monitor. She was crying loudly. Dad said, "I'll go take care of her", and left.

Mom took Stephanie's and my hand, and led us to the family room. It was decorated with streamers and loads of balloons with confetti stored in them, and—was it?—strings of _popcorn_?

I laughed out loud. "Mom, you put strings of popcorn around the room!"

Mom laughed with me. "I know it's not Christmas, but I figured you girls would eat if all of anyway." She laughed again, a twinkle in her eye.

I looked up at Mom just then, and she looked like a little girl in her cotton pajamas and sparkly eyes. I don't know why, but suddenly I felt like crying. I felt a familiar lump rise in my throat, and my eyes became a little watery. "Mom," I said, hugging her, "you're wonderful."

She hugged me back. "So are you."

Stephanie joined in. "So am I."

* * *

**_Pam's POV_**

As I saw my daughter wrap her arms around me affectionately, I felt a moment of surprise, then embraced her as well. D.J. is a wonderful daughter, and I'd hate to lose her.

After the hug ended, D.J. dug into her skirt pocket and pulled out a list. "This is a list of all the food I need," she explained. "I would go with you, but I've got to go get all the activities ready in my room." She handed me the small piece of yellow lined paper.

I took the list and smiled. "I'll go get changed, and then it's off to the grocery store!"

I ran into Danny in the hall. "I'm going to the grocery store," I informed him. "Could you please stay home and watch Michelle?"

"Sure, Pam," Danny replied. He kissed me, and we went our separate directions.

* * *

I came back downstairs washed and combed twenty minutes later. D.J. was sitting at the coffee table, making a list of activities. When she saw me enter, she said, "I'll see you out." She took my hand and we went down to the garage, while I wondered why D.J. suddenly wanted to be with me. 

I opened the garage door and climbed into Danny's car. I gunned the engine and geared into reverse. "Bye, honey," I said. "Love you."

"I love you too," D.J. said with a smile. "Bye."

Even as I rode onto the street, D.J. stood on the sidewalk, waving to me. I smiled, turning back to wave to her. When I turned back around, I saw a large van rushing toward me at an amazing speed. I panicked, screaming,and jerked my steering wheel to turn onto the grass, but it was too late. We collided, and everything went black.

* * *

**_Meanwhile, in D.J.'s POV_**

I led Mom outside and she climbed into Dad's car. "Bye, honey," she said to me warmly. "Love you."

I almost wanted to cry again. "I love you too," I said. "Bye."

Mom back out of the garage as I ran to the sidewalk and watched her drive off. I waved towards the car, and I could see Mom waving back. All of a sudden, I noticed a giant van coming towards her—_on the same side of the street!_

"Mom!" I shrieked in horror. "Mom, no!"


End file.
